


Chat line

by Kathaka9



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Chat Noir Being Chat Noir, Chat Noir Makes Puns, Humor, Ladybug Is So Done, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Plagg Cares, Plagg Loves Cheese, Plagg is a Little Shit, Sleep Deprived Adrien Agreste, Superhero antics, Texting, letadriensleep, puns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-04-22 05:12:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14301519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kathaka9/pseuds/Kathaka9
Summary: (5:43pm)Hello and thank you for messaging Chat line where miraculous is my gain and puns keep us sane. Chat is unable to come to the phone right now but please text one of the following according to what you desire:If you are Ladybug and desire a date with Chat Noir please press 1If the reason you are texting is pun related press 2If there is an akuma attack currently going on and I am immediately required then I apologize for being indisposed but leave the name powers and location of the akuma after pressing 3.If Paris is in some kind of other danger or if you are Ladybug in danger please press 4If this is something to do with my terrible sleep habits then this is not Chat Noir but Jake from State FarmIf you are Hawkmoth then press 5 and the police will be notified, also if you are hawkmoth this is not Chat Noir, this is your imagination and you have not texted anyone wooooooooooIf you are Tikki and wish to talk to Plagg then he says text a cheese emojiIf your message is not any of the above then press 42 and type what your message actually is.Thank you for messaging Chat Line and I will get back to you as soon as possible





	1. Communication is key

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (9:05pm)
> 
> Chat I have many questions….
> 
>  
> 
> (9:09pm)
> 
> Then ask them…..
> 
>  
> 
> (9:10pm)
> 
> How did you buy us both phones  
> Why did you buy me one with a ladybug case  
> Why did you buy us phones in general??????

Ladybug

_Chat Noir_

* * *

 

Friday 13th April 2018

(9:05pm)

Chat I have many questions….

 

(9:09pm)

_Then ask them….._

 

(9:10pm)

  1. How did you buy us both phones
  2. Why did you buy me one with a ladybug case
  3. Why did you buy us phones in general??????



 

(9:12pm)

_Well to answer the first one I went to a phone store and exchanged paper currency for a phone, not exactly rocket science m’lady_

 

(9:14pm)

I looked up the phone, it must’ve cost you at least $300!!!!!!

 

(9:15pm)

_Don’t most phones cost that much?_

 

(9:17pm)

Maybe but there was no need for you to buy me one that much. Now I’ve gotta pay you back for it!

 

(9:18pm)

_It’s a gift m’lady! You don’t need to pay me back!_

 

(9:20pm)

Yes I do! You spent 300 on me, that’s a fortune!

 

(9:24pm)

_Not really, I spend more on Plagg’s cheese supply for a week than I did on the phones_

 

(9:25pm)

How???????

 

(9:27pm)

_Let’s just say I have a high paying job….._

 

(9:29pm)

Okay…. But why the ladybug case?

 

(9:32pm)

_A ladybug for m’lady!_

 

(9:35pm)

Okay……

 

(9:37pm)

But why the phones in the first place? I see u everyday bc of akumas!

 

(9:40pm)

_So we can communicate_

 

(9:41pm)

_Plan patrols_

 

(9:41pm)

_Tell each other if we can’t make patrols_

 

(9:42pm)

_Warn each other about akuma and where they are_

 

(9:42pm)

I get it Chat

 

(9:43pm)

_So we can warn each other if we’ll be late_

 

(9:43pm)

_Oh….. Well yeah. Don’t u think it’s a good idea?_

 

(9:45pm)

I think people are going to notice the fact that I suddenly have a new phone……

 

(9:46pm)

_U don’t have to show people the phone. Its just for ‘superhero business’_

 

(9:47pm)

Does ‘superhero business’ consist of u spamming me with cat puns or memes because if you do so I swear to god Chat that I will break this phone over ur head

 

(9:49pm)

_MEOUCH! Ladybug y must u hurt me this way_

 

(9:52pm)

What did i just say???????

 

(9:54pm)

_Fine no cat puns I got it :(_

 

(9:56pm)

Good. Dont make me regret this chat

 

(9:59pm)

_Don’t worry m’lady u wont :D_

* * *

 

Saturday 14th April 2018

 

(4:26am)

_Hey Ladybug, I tried calling u earlier on my baton but I’m guessing ur sleeping like any rational human would be at this hour well unfortunately for us Hawkmoth is anything but a rational human being and has decided to release an akuma at this ungodly hour so if you could come to the seine and help me stop it that would be wonderful thanks._

 

(4:29am)

Hey Chat, It’s Tikki (Ladybug’s kwami) I’m doing my best to wake her but she won’t budge. It looks like ur gonna have to deal with this by urself.

 

(4:32am)

_If u really are Ladybug’s kwami then u should know that I can’t purify the akuma so I really can’t do this without her. I kinda need her to do that crucial step for me._

 

(4:34am)

Damnit Plagg!

 

(4:35am)

_As much as I agree with the sentiment y r u damning him?_

 

(4:38am)

Nevermind, it’s not my secret to tell…. Even though he really should’ve told u the 1st day….. >:(

 

(4:40am)

_So is Ladybug going to be coming or do I have to fight this one on my own and then somehow contain the akuma for however long it takes u to wake her up?_

 

(5:00am)

LB here, I just woke up.

 

(5:05am)

_How did u sleep through it? I swear that half of Paris has been awoken by my attempted fight with it_

 

(5:06am)

I’m a heavy sleeper ok! So what are we dealing with and wheres the akuma?

 

(5:08am)

_Kid kept getting nightmares so is putting everyone in Paris into nightmares but they keep acting them out so it’s kinda insane out here. Anyone who isn’t asleep due to the akuma is awake due to the victims. Anyway she carries around a stuffed toy, pretty sure the akuma is in there._

 

(5:10am)

A nightmare akuma? That’s pretty harmless

 

(5:12am)

Couldn’t it have waited until the sun was up?

 

(5:14am)

_HA;F OF PARIS IS TRAPPED IN NIGHTMARES AND A FAIR FEW ARE ACTING THEM OUT LEADING TO PEOPLE WALKING OFF OF THINGS OR DOING OTHER THINGS THAT SLEEPING PEOPLE VERY MUCH SHOULD NOT BE DOING. SO NO LB THIS COULD NOT WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

 

(5:16am)

How did u even wake up?

 

(5:18am)

_She came to my house and an akuma breaking into ur house is kinda loud. I swear Hawkmoth has no concept of subtlety._

 

(5:20am)

Alright kitty, so where is she?

 

(5:24am)

_Eiffel tower, i’m not sure y bc idk anyone who sleeps there but she’s there._

 

(5:28am)

Okay be there soon

 

(5:30am)

_Thank god._

 

(5:31am)

_And u thought these phones were a bad idea!_

 

(10:43am)

I never said they were a bad idea it was more what were u thinking spending so much money on phones when we dont really need them

 

(10:45am)

_Excuse me we do need them, last night was proof of that. I swear ur never awake when we get late night akumas i always have to hold them off until morning when u come swooping in_

 

(10:50am)

Wait…. U never told me we got late night akuma before?

 

(10:53am)

_I didn’t want u to worry!_

 

(10:55am)

So when there are early morning akuma those are the ones that were late night?

 

(10:56am)

_Some of them. Usually if im there then it was late night_

 

(10:58am)

Geez kitty when do u even sleep given ur fighting all these late night akuma

 

(10:59am)

_SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK_

 

(11:00am)

Then I am very very weak

 

(11:02am)

Seriously tho when do u find time to sleep cuz im assuming ur in school and u said u have a job so wtf?????

 

(11:09am)

_I don’t sleep I live off of coffee and more sugar than is healthy for me to consume_

 

(11:10am)

U have to sleep sometime tho????

 

(11:12am)

_I sleep after patrol most of the time_

 

(11:15am)

Do u need to finish it earlier so u can get enough sleep kitty?

 

(11:18am)

_I GET NORMAL AMOUNTS OF SLEEP!_

 

(11:20am)

Define normal

 

(11:23am)

_Like 2-4 hours_

 

(11:25am)

Thats not normal chat

 

(11:27am)

Also we finish patrol at midnight and most schools don’t start until at least 7, so at the very least u should get 6 hours, how do u only get 2-4??????

 

(11:29am)

_Why r u so concerned about how much sleep i get? I really dont mind facing the early morning akuma I just would prefer not having to go to school exhausted with Plagg bugging me about cheese_

 

(11:30am)

We’re partners Chat, of course I care about u.

 

(11:31am)

_Then trust me bugaboo, I’m fine._

 

(11:34am)

Alright Chat, I trust u. But let me know if u need a break or want to cut down patrol, I dont want u passing out on me.

 

(11:36am)

_As if! U let me know too LB, I’d be lost without u._

 

(11:38am)

U seemedfine this morning without me

 

(11:40am)

_If things are too much for u then take a break, just let me know so im not waiting for u also i do kinda need u for akuma cuz i cant purify them_

 

(11:42am)

U got it kitty.

 

(11:45am)

My friend is sending me odd looks over my new phone so ttyl

 

(11:47am)

_No problemo LB cant have ur friend catching on…_

 

(11:48am)

_Hahahahah CATching….. Get it?_

 

(11:49am)

_Hello?_

 

(5:42pm)

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT CAT PUNS????????

 

(5:43pm)

_Hello and thank you for messaging Chat line where miraculous is my gain and puns keep us sane. Chat is unable to come to the phone right now but please text one of the following according to what you desire:_

 

  * __If you are Ladybug and desire a date with Chat Noir please press 1__


  * _If the reason you are texting is pun related press 2_


  * _If there is an akuma attack currently going on and I am immediately required then I apologize for being indisposed but leave the name powers and location of the akuma after pressing 3._


  * _If Paris is in some kind of other danger or if you are Ladybug in danger please press 4_


  * _If this is something to do with my terrible sleep habits then this is not Chat Noir but Jake from State farm_


  * _If you are Hawkmoth then press 5 and the police will be notified, also if you are hawkmoth this is not Chat Noir, this is your imagination and you have not texted anyone woooooooooo_


  * _If you are Tikki and wish to talk to Plagg then he says text a cheese emoji_


  * _If your message is not any of the above then press 42 and type what your message actually is._



 

_Thank you for messaging Chat Line and I will get back to you as soon as possible_

 

(5:50pm)

Wtf chat what is that message? I know ur there bc u had to have been there to actually send it. But fine. 2.

 

(5:53pm)

_You have selected 2 for pun related, what is the message you would like to get across about puns?_

 

(5:55pm)

What are u doing chat pls stop

 

(5:56pm)

_#CANT STOP WONT STOP_

 

(5:59pm)

Smashing this phone over ur head is sounding more and more tempting by the second…..

 

(6:01pm)

_I thought i was ur friend and u cared about me and other sentimental words!!!!!!!_

 

(6:03pm)

As ur friend I regret everything about this conversation and this friendship

 

(6:06pm)

_BETRAYAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

 

Sunday 15th April 2018

(1:03am)

_Ok I get that u were mad but was that any reason to throw me in the seine??????_


	2. What are the chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (3:57am)  
> But what if u figure out my identity based off my homework?
> 
> (3:59am)  
> Ladybug…… the chances of that happening are super low given almost every teenager in paris has homework what r the chances of u having the exact same homework as me and me figuring that out by one question

Ladybug

_ Chat noir _

 

Sunday 15th April 

(4:34pm)

U were fine u big baby

 

(4:35pm)

_ YOU THREW ME INTO A RIVER M’LADY _

 

(4:38pm)

So? I’ve thrown u at akumas before and u didnt care then

 

(4:40pm)

_ THAT WAS DIFFERENT _

 

(4:43pm)

Different how?

 

(4:45pm)

_ We had to stop the akumas u just threw me into the siene this time cuz u were mad _

 

(4:46pm)

_ Havent u ever heard all the sayings about cats and water???? _

 

(4:48pm)

What about cats and water?

 

(4:50pm)

_ Cats HATE water _

 

(4:51pm)

Ur not a cat tho

 

(5:02pm)

_ HOW DARE U _

 

(5:03pm)

_ I could forgive u throwing me in the siene but how dare u call me not a cat! _

 

(5:04pm)

UR NOT A CAT!!!!!! 

 

(5:05pm)

_ YES I AM _

 

(5:07pm)

Is the miraculous messing with ur brain? Bc u look pretty human to me

 

(5:08pm)

_ Thats the outside, on the inside i am a cat _

 

(5:10pm)

JUST BC UR NAME IS CHAT NOIR DOESNT MAKE U AN ACTUAL CAT

 

(5:11pm)

_ DOES TO! _

 

(5:14pm)

_ How dare u betray me this way I am insulted.  _

 

(5:16pm)

Well ur the one insisting that ur a cat….. :P

 

(5:17pm)

_ U know what????? _

 

(5:17pm)

What?

 

(5:19pm)

_ I dont know where that sentence was going but i assure u that it was gonna have a very dramatic and epic end that would purrfectly purrtray the point i was trying to get across _

 

(5:20pm)

Chat do u want to end up back in the siene?

 

(5:21pm)

_ NO Y WOULD I WANT THAT _

 

(5:23pm)

Bc u seem to have forgotten the reason i threw u in there in the first place

 

(5:24pm)

_ U R EVIL BUGABOO _

 

(5:29pm)

Thanks kitty :)

* * *

 

Monday 16th April 2018

 

(3:04am)

Hey Chat r u awake?

 

(3:05am)

_ No im asleep :/ _

 

(3:07am)

Oh… then I guess I’ll wait until ur awake then

 

(3:09am)

_ I was joking I’m awake _

 

(3:12am)

_ What do u need m’lady? _

 

(3:13am)

_ Is there an akuma? Is Paris in danger? _

 

(3:14am)

_ Do u finally accept my love? _

 

(3:15am)

_ Has Hawkmoth miraculously decided to give up crime and become a fashion designer? _

 

(3:16am)

No

 

(3:17am)

_ Then what is it? _

 

(3:17am)

_ Is it urgent? _

 

(3:18am)

Yes

 

(3:19am)

_ Are u dying :O _

 

(3:20am)

No????????

 

(3:21am)

_ R u hurt? _

 

(3:21am)

_ R u in danger? _

 

(3:22am)

Yes

 

(3:23am)

_ TO WHICH THING??????? _

 

(3:24am)

I’m in danger of failing school

 

(3:26am)

_ Ur in danger of failing school? _

 

(3:27am)

Yes

 

(3:28am)

_ I THOUGHT U WERE IN ACTUAL DANGER DONT SCARE ME LIKE THAT BUGABOO I JUST LOST ONE OF MY NINE LIVES _

 

(3:29am)

Stop being so overdramatic Chat

 

(3:30am)

_ I am being just the right amount of dramatic bugaboo! _

 

(3:32am)

Can u just help me with my homework???

 

(3:34am)

_ Let me get this straight…. U texted me at 3am and made me think u were in danger so u could get me to help u with ur homework _

 

(3:35am)

Sorry kitty, In didn’t realise u were asleep, i wouldve asked tikki but shes asleep

 

(3:36am)

_ Oh i wasn’t asleep i may or may not have been playing UMS 3 for the past three hours…… _

 

(3:38am)

GO TO SLEEP

 

(3:39am)

_ I thought u wanted me to help with ur homework _

 

(3:40am)

Ok help me with my homework then go to sleep

 

(3:41am)

_ Yeah sure I’ll ‘go to sleep’ right…. _

 

(3:43am)

Anyway ur terrible sleeping habits aside what do u know about science?

 

(3:44am)

_ I’d like to think a lot _

 

(3:45am)

What about chemistry?

 

(3:46am)

_ Is this the subject chemistry or the burning chemistry between us? _

 

(3:47am)

:/ the subject :/

 

(3:48am)

_ Ok right well i’m still in my element so hit me up _

 

(3:49am)

Wait I read it wrong it’s not chem its physics

 

(3:50am)

_ How do u read chem as physics?????? They look nothing alike???? _

 

(3:52am)

IM TIRED OK

 

(3:53am)

_ Why r u doing homework at 4am then? Y dont u take ur own advice and sleep???? _

 

(3:54am)

BC THIS IS DUE IN THE MORNING AND I NEED TO GET IT DONE I CAN SLEEP ONCE ITS DONE

 

(3:55am)

_ Then maybe tell me what its asking u so i can help u get it done? _

 

(3:57am)

But what if u figure out my identity based off my homework?

 

(3:59am)

_ Ladybug…… the chances of that happening are super low given almost every teenager in paris has homework what r the chances of u having the exact same homework as me and me figuring that out by one question _

 

(4:01am)

Ok ok…… How do I find impulse also what is impulse?????

 

(4:03am)

_ Impulse is just the change in momentum u find it by Force x time _

 

(4:09am)

Ok ok next question whats newtons 3rd law?

 

(4:10am)

_ Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Now will there be anything else? Also if ur next question is the same as my homework the answer is 63N _

 

(4:23am)

HOW DID U KNOW HTAT R U STALKING ME

 

(4:24am)

_ No I just recognised the questions u were asking me were all on my own homework so figured that it might be true, I’m guessing I was right? _

 

(4:25am)

U WERE AND THAT SHOULDNT BE POSSIBLE

 

(4:26am)

_ Yeah what r the chances that 2 random kids who happen to be superheroes in Paris goto the same school so have the same homework _

 

(4:28am)

I KNEW U WERE STALKING ME

 

(4:29am)

_ Im not stalking u I have some respect LB _

 

(4:30am)

Ok ok so we go to the same school…. Thats a thing

 

(4:32am)

_ Uh yeah.  _

 

(4:35am)

Im going to sleep

 

(4:36am)

_ Uh yeah……… _

 

(4:37am)

U should go to sleep aswell

 

(4:38am)

_ Uh no.... _

 

(4:39am)

Chat go to sleep

 

(4:40am)

_ Its only 4am _

 

(4:41am)

EXACTLY ITS 4AM GO TO SLEEP

 

(4:43am)

_ I have to get up in like an hour anyway whats the point _

 

(4:44am)

The point is that i dont want my partner dying

 

(4:45am)

_ If anything is gonna kill me bugaboo thats gonna be u _

 

(3:22pm)

_ WE GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL _

 

(3:23pm)

_ THAT EXPLAINS HOW U WERE SO QUICK ALL THOSE TIMES ALL THOSE AKUMAS ATTACKED SCHOOL _

 

(3:24pm)

Chat……. Stop were already getting too close to each others identies

 

(3:25pm)

_ No m’lady it all makes sense now…. That why how u got in during horificator and how ur always like instantly there…. HOW DIDNT WE REALISE _

 

(3:27pm)

Magic :/

 

(3:30pm)

_ True………. _

 

(8:43pm)

_ M’lady do u think Hawkmoth knows? _

 

(8:45pm)

Do ithink hawkmoth knows what?

 

(8:45pm)

_ What school we go to _

 

(8:46pm)

Y would he?

 

(8:47pm)

_ Dont u think its odd how many akuma have appeared at our school compared to any other school _

 

(8:49pm)

I assumed that was just because Chloe goes there

 

(8:50pm)

_ But think about it m’lady it cant just be a cooincidence _

 

(8:52pm)

_ Surely hes noticed that we always show up quickest at the school akumas and thats why theres so many there _

 

(8:56pm)

Chat….. Chloe goes there. Pretty sure theres so many there just bc of chloe being chloe.

 

(8:57pm)

And even if he does know we show up there quickly there are a number of reasons to explain that

 

(8:58pm)

Like maybe our miraculous’s allow us to teleport

 

(8:59pm)

Maybe he thinks we watch chloe bc she is ground zero for many akuma

 

(9:00pm)

Maybe he thinks we have an alert system

 

(9:02pm)

Like seriously what are the chances of him putting together the fact we go there when it took us until now to put it together ourselves and WE GO THERE

 

(9:04pm)

_ I guess so… . but still what if he does know? _

 

(9:05pm)

I’m almost certain that he doesnt :/

 

(9:06pm)

_ I guess ur right after all what are the chances _

* * *

 

_ Meanwhile………… _

 

Hawkmoth was pacing around his butterfly lair getting more and more frustrated that there was nobody in Paris currently angry enough for him to akumatized. He would’ve akumatized himself but he’d already played that card and didn’t want Ladybug and Chat Noir to key into the fact he could akumatized people more than once, after all, he had to keep some tricks up his sleeve. 

 

Unfortunately without anyone to akumatize his lair was incredibly boring. He hadn’t realised when he’d first designed it but he’d made a major design flaw in not putting a single bit of furniture in the room aside from the table in the corner which as he’d experimented with in the past didn’t offer anything but he couldn’t exactly take it out given his dramatic entrance elevator wasn’t big enough to fit a table into.

 

The next problem was that unlike Ladybug and Chat Noir who seemed to be able to do almost anything on their respective weapons he unfortunately couldn’t do anything on his own and his civilian phone disappeared with the transformation. It also wasn’t like he could change back, what if someone got mad????? Of course, there were mad people but they weren’t interesting people or weren’t the type of people he wanted to akumatize. After all he wasn’t about to make the mistakes of Mr Pigeon, Robustus or Gigantor again, those akuma’s had been total failures and he really didn’t want to repeat them again. He had a reputation of a serious villain to uphold. 

 

Of course that was what left him sitting alone in his lair with nothing to do but grumble over Ladybug and Chat Noir. He was getting increasingly frustrated that they always managed to stop his akumas no matter what he tried. He couldn’t understand it, even when he’d have the two of them trapped they’d escape. Actually he pondered how had they even gotten in when Horrificator had trapped them in the school with her pink goo, because almost as soon as she’d been akumatized she’d enclosed the school in pink goo…… 

 

How? How had they gotten in, he knew that the outside hadn’t been breached because a news crew had shown up during the battle and showed the outside of the entire building and there was almost certainly hadn’t been breached in any way and he’d seen through her own eyes that they seemed to be struggling with breaking the goo so how had they gotten in?

 

There were two options either the two had magical teleporting powers he was somehow unaware of or they’d already been in the school. He was pretty sure that teleportation was unlikely given that probably would’ve been included in the book on the miraculous that covered everything from the kwami’s favourite foods to the first discovery of the miraculous. So teleportation unlikely…..

 

Then it clicked the only logical solution (aside from them being students but the only student he would be willing to be beat by would be his son and Adrien couldn’t be Chat Noir given the whole gorilla fiasco) they had to work in the school! That was the only way they could possibly get to the school so quickly everytime! Clearly the only possible logical solution was that they worked there!

 

(Cue Nooroo facepalming from wherever kwami go when sucked inside the miraculous)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Orginally, Hawkmoth's bit wasn't going to be at the end but I wrote it out and decided to leave it in as a bit of a joke and also why not? I'm not sure if I'll write ut little snipits in later chapters like I did here but we'll see. I hope to CATch u next time ;)


	3. Speculation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (11:49am)  
> Look chat i appreciate it but i think ur overthinking things. For all we know Hawkmoth could be ur father or he could be a strange hermit in a butterfly cave we dont know anything about him other than that he wants our miraculouses
> 
> (11:50am)  
> Tbh wouldnt be surprised if my father had a secret butterfly cave

Ladybug

_ Chat Noir _

 

(3:43am)

_ Hey LB guess what? _

 

(3:44am)

I GUESS THAT I WANT TO SLEEP

 

(3:45am)

_ Too bad hawkmoth sent out an akuma then…….. _

 

(3:47am)

Doesnt he have anything better to do

 

(3:48am)

_ Its 3am its not like he could go hang out with his probably non existant friends :/ _

 

(3:50am)

I meant sleeping chat

 

(3:51am)

Like any other normal human being would be doing right now 

 

(3:53am)   
_ Im actually surpurrised ur awake tbh _

 

(3:54am)

Tikki turned up the volume on my phone to maximum. I woke up to the annoying sound of a thousand cats meowing

 

(3:55am)

Speaking of meowing cats why did u set the ringtone to cat sounds???????

 

(3:57am)

_ I wanted u to know it was me _

 

(3:59am)

UR LITERALLY THE ONLY PERSON IN THAT PHONE AND THE ONLY ONE WITH ITS NUMBER WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE?????????

 

(4:00am)

_ That ladyblogger girl? Alya? _

 

(4:03am)

She may be good but shes not that good.

 

(4:06am)

Anyway what is this akuma that is so important anyway

 

(4:09am)

_ All i know is she has fire powers and i dont really wanna get burnt _

 

(4:11am)

WHY????????? 

 

(4:14am)

_ Bc beliee it or not i dont want to die………. _

 

(4:16am)

I meant why did he have to maje a fire akuma at 4 in the god damn morning i swear when we eventually defeat him im gonna punch him so hard he’ll be seeing stars for the rest of his life >:(

 

(4:20am)

_ U wouldnt have even woken up for it if i hadnt texted u _

 

(4:21am)

Just where is this akuma i need to get my anger out and give hawkbutt a peace of my mind

 

(4:24am)

_ Near the school _

 

(4:25am)

Im on my way. Dont get killed in the meantime

 

(4:27am)

_ Ill try my best _

 

(4:29am)

NO U WILL NOT GET KILLED U HEAR ME CHAT

 

(4:30am)

_ I dont hear u we are texting…. but i will not get killed if i can help it  _

 

(4:31am)

CHAT IM SERIOUS

 

(4:32am)

_ I dont need serious i need m’lady so get down here and beat the akuma so u can sleep and i can get back to my whining kwami and homework _

 

(4:34am)

Y WERE U DOING HOMEWORK AT 4AM

 

(4:35am)

_ WHEN ELSE AM I MEANT TO DO IT _

 

(4:38am)

DURING THE DAY?????

 

(4:39am)

_ I dont have time during the day! _

 

(4:40am)

_ Whats taking u so long???????? _

 

(4:41am)

I sorta forgot tikki and had to go back for her

 

(4:42am)

_ How did u forget tikki????? Y didnt u just transform at ur house????? _

 

(4:43am)

BC IM TIRED OK CHAT

 

(4:44am)

_ Ok lb now get down here before I become deep fried and crispy _

 

(4:55am)

IM THERE U IDIOT

 

(4:56am)

UR NOT HERE THO SO WHERE R U AND AKUMA?

 

(4:57am)

_ I threw her in the seine _

 

(5:00am)

U threw her in the seine?????

 

(5:01am)

_ Yeah…… it seemed like a good idea  _

 

(5:02am)

It was i just didnt know u were that capable…..

 

(5:04am)

_ RUDE I SAVED UR LIFE _

 

(5:04am)

No?

 

(5:05am)

_ Timebreaker, dark cupid, kissou etc _

 

(5:06am)

Ok point made

 

(5:07am)

_ Now get over here and purify the akuma _

 

(11:04am)

_ Hey ladybug do u think this is part of hawkmoths plan?????? _

 

(11:06am)

Us textinf? No i think that was u so unless u have something to tell me chat then no

 

(11:09am)

_ No not us texting the akumas _

 

(11:10am)

Chat weve known since day 1 that akuma were his entire plan bc hes too scared toshow himself.

 

(11:11am)

_ No the late night akumas _

 

(11:13am)

Maybe he just has a life during the day????

 

(11:14am)

_ The man has time to torment paris and two random children with butterflies i doubt he has a life _

 

(11:15am)

True, after all imagine how much time he had to waste to come up with some of those god awful akuma designs

 

(11:17am)

_ Bubbler flashbacks _

 

(11:18am)

What was he even thinking with bubbler he looked like a giant baby toy

 

(11:19am)

_ Maybe he wasnt _

 

(11:23am)

_ Wait out of every akuma bubbler had by far the worst outfit, do u think that was purposeful? _

 

(11:24am)

What do u mean?

 

(11:25am)

_ Think about it other akumas some got better outfits than others but why give bubbler the worst outfit out of everyone? _

 

(11:26am)

Coincidence?

 

(11:27am)

_ I THINK NOT! _

 

(11:28am)

_ Maybe he has some connection to the bubbler and chose the outfit purposefully bc he doesnt like him?????  _

 

(11:29am)

So u think hawkmoth might know Nino?

 

(11:30am)

_ Its possible….  _

 

(11:33am)

That doesnt relly narrow it down kitty

 

(11:35am)

_ Ok ok another theory then. What if Hawkmoth is just a fashion designer? _

 

(11:37am)

Two things:

  1. U put way to much time thinking about this
  2. No fashion designer would ever create some of those outfits



 

(11:39am)

_ But thats the thing isn’t it. Maybe hes trying to throw us off his scent. after all some have actually good outfits others are horrendous. Maybe its part of his plan _

 

(11:40am)

Y did u put so much thought into this?

 

(11:43am)

_ Boredom  _

 

(11:49am)

Look chat i appreciate it but i think ur overthinking things. For all we know Hawkmoth could be ur father or he could be a strange hermit in a butterfly cave we dont know anything about him other than that he wants our miraculouses

 

(11:50am)

_ Tbh wouldnt be surprised if my father had a secret butterfly cave  _

 

(11:52am)

Y would ur dad have a butterfly cave?????

 

(11:54am

_ Idk but i wouldnt be surprised if he did _

 

(11:55am)

Should I be concerned about you joining the darkside?

 

(11:57am)

_ No its not like he has time to be hawkmoth or anything lol _

 

(11:58am)

_ Also hes been akumatized before and as far as we know hawkmoth cannot akumatize himself _

 

(12:00pm)

I would still like to know y ur dad would have a butterfly cave tho

 

(12:02pm)

Also if he did how would u not know it existed bc im assuming u live with him

 

(12:04pm)

_ ITS A BIG HOUSE OK _

 

(12:05pm)

_ I didn’t even know it had a basement until yesterday _

 

(12:06pm)

How did u not know ur own house had a basement?????

 

(12:07pm)

_ According to Plagg it’s bc im blind _

 

(12:08pm)

Id say plagg is correct in this instance

 

(12:10pm)

_ ITS A BIG HOUSE LIKE U DONT HAVE PLACES IN UR HOUSE U DIDNT KNOW EXISTED _

 

(12:11pm)

I know my house like the back of my hand. 

 

(12:14pm)

_ Lucky u :/ _

 

(12:17pm)

But seriously y would ur dad want a butterfly cave bc u said u wouldnt be surprised if he had one

 

(12:19pm)

_ Idk its not like i see him enough to know otherwise _

 

(12:20pm)

_ Can we just pretend i never said that……… _

 

(12:22pm)

What do u mean u dont see ur dad????

 

(12:24pm)

_ I never said that what are u talking about _

 

(12:25pm)

Chat 

 

(12:26pm)

U cant just pretend this out of existance

 

(12:27pm)

_ I can and I will _

 

(12:30pm)

CHAT TOM NOIR U WILL TELL ME THIS INSTANCE

 

(12:32pm)

_ Tom? _

 

(12:34pm)

I dontknow ur middle name so i made one up

 

(12:35pm)

_ But seriously Tom? _

 

(12:39pm)

CHAT FELIX NOIR WE R TALKING ABOUT THIS

 

(12:40pm)

_ Despite my middle name not being felix i think i should change it to felix now….. _

 

(12:41pm)

_ Maybe i should create a new alter ego called Felix and be all cool and edgy _

 

(12:42pm)

As if u could be either of those things

 

(12:42pm)

Now about ur dad….

 

(12:43pm)

_ Its not biggie seriously _

 

(12:43pm)

_ Hes just really busy _

(12:46pm)

Too busy to spend time with you?

 

(12:47pm)

_ Its honestly ok LB im used to it.  _

 

(12:50pm)

U shouldn’t have to be kitty

 

(12:52pm)

What about ur mum?

 

(12:53pm)

_ Can we not do this _

 

(12:53pm)

_ Please? _

 

(12:55pm)

U ok kitty?

 

(12:56pm)

I didnt mean to offend u or anything

 

(12:59pm)

_ Im not offended id just rather not talk about this  _

 

(12:59pm)

_ Secret identities and all that _

 

(1:01pm)

While im sure thats  not the truth I’ll drop it as long as u tell me one thing

 

(1:02pm)

Are u safe?

 

(1:04pm)

_ Yeah LB im safe _

 

(1:05pm)

_ Its not like my dad is actually hawkmoth or anything how crazy would that be _

 

(1:07pm)

As long as ur safe Chat idk what id do without u

 

(1:08pm)

_ Aw u care about me :) _

 

(1:09pm)

And there goes the moment :/


	4. Cheese

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (1:25am)  
> But still dont u think things are getting serious?  
> (1:29am)  
> Some of the akuma have come pretty close to taking the miraculous after all  
> (1:30am)  
> Dark owl even took one of the earrings

_ Chat Noir _

Ladybug

 

(9:34pm)

_ Hey Ladybug just letting u know i cant make patrol tonight _

 

(9:36pm)

YES I CAN SLEEP :)

 

(9:39pm)

Y cant u make patrol? Unless its a secret identity thing and u cant tell me

 

(9:43pm)

_ Essentially someone got mad at me for buying tons of cheese so now im grounded and Plagg is mad and refuses to transform ever again bc apparently he is ‘starving’ and ‘going to die’ _

 

(9:44pm)

Was it ur dad?

 

(9:45pm)

_ No it was his glorified tablet holder _

 

(9:46pm)

Im gonna pretend i understand what that means

 

(9:48pm)

_ Ik ik its confusing i cant say more without possibly outing my identity so im gonna call them the glorified tablet holder from now on _

 

(9:50pm)

Ok but y is it a big deal for u to buy cheese? Unless ur stealing money?

 

(9:51pm)

_ Im not a theif m’lady _

 

(9:53pm)

_ Its something to do with scent and needing to keep a ‘hot’ for work _

 

(9:55pm)

?????? Wtf u have a job??????

 

(9:56pm)

_ I have two _

(9:59pm)

_ Both in which I’m a serious role model _

 

(10:00pm)

_ I wish i could tell u what i actually do so u could apreciate the genius of that pun _

 

(10:01pm)

Im pretty sure its just as bad as every other pun u make

 

(10:02pm)

But seriously whats the big deal its just cheese nothing to ground u over

 

(10:03pm)

_ U dont know my family if i can even call glorified tablet holder that _

 

(10:05pm)

Does ‘glorified tablet holder’ have a name 

 

(10:07pm)

_ Yes but i cant tell u it _

 

(10:09pm)

Ok well goodnight chat im gonna get some sleep

 

(10:10pm)

_ Its only 10? _

 

(10:12pm)

Yes but knowing hawkmoth there will be another akuma at 2am and Id like to get some sleep before u wake me up with thousands of screaming cats.

 

(10:15pm)

_ Fair point. Well I’ll talk to u later the bugaboo ;) _

 

(10:16pm)

_ Sleep tight and don’t let the bed bugs bite :) _

 

(10:18pm)

That is terrible. 

* * *

(1:03am)

Hey Chat its tikki and I wanna talk to plagg but theres no cheese emojii ????

(1:04am)

_ Hello and thank you for messaging Chat line where miraculous is my gain and puns keep us sane. Chat is unable to come to the phone right now but please text one of the following according to what you desire: _

 

  * __If you are ladybug and desire a date with Chat Noir please press 1__


  * _If the reason you are texting is pun related press 2_


  * _If there is an akuma attack currently going on and I am immediately required then I apologize for being indisposed but leave the name powers and location of the akuma after pressing 3._


  * _If Paris is in some kind of other danger or if you are Ladybug in danger please press 4_


  * _If this is something to do with my terrible sleep habits then this is not Chat Noir but Jake from State farm_


  * _If you are Hawkmoth then press 5 and the police will be notified, also if you are hawkmoth this is not Chat Noir, this is your imagination and you have not texted anyone woooooooooo_


  * _If you are Tikki and wish to talk to Plagg then he says text a cheese emoji_


  * _If your message is not any of the above then press 42 and type what your message actually is._



 

_ Thank you for messaging Chat Line and I will get back to you as soon as possible _

 

(1:05am)

THERES NO CHEESE EMOJI

 

(1:06am)

_ FIND IT _

 

(1:08am)

Insert cheese emoji here

 

(1:09am)

IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR U PLAGG

 

(1:10am)

_ Yes so tikki whats up _

 

(1:11am)

Theres been a lot of akumas lately

 

(1:12am)

_ I know i was there _

 

(1:18am)

Do u think we should tell them about their other powers or at least the fact that Chat can purify an akuma 

 

(1:19am)

_ Nah theyre fine _

 

(1:20am)

U just dont wanna tell him cuz it means more work for u

 

(1:24am)

_ Yup _

 

(1:25am)

But still dont u think things are getting serious?

 

(1:29am)

Some of the akuma have come pretty close to taking the miraculous after all

 

(1:30am)

Dark owl even took one of the earrings

 

(1:32am)

_ Maybe _

 

(1:33am)

PLAGGG 

 

(1:35am)

Do u think we should talk to fu about recrutiing more heroes 

 

(1:37am)

_ Yeah maye we could get fox girl as a permanent member of the team _

 

(1:39am)

HER NAME WAS RENA ROUGE 

 

(1:40am)

_ Yeah yeah whatever. Lets recruit her so i dont have to be forced into the ring and starve to death every day besides the kid needs a break anyway _

 

(1:44am)

When does he even find the time to sleep?

 

(1:45am)

_ He doesn’t even now hes doing his hw the nerd _

 

(1:46am)

Maybe u should talk to him?

 

(1:47am)

_ I may be slightly concerned about him but i cant tell him that! I cant have him getting ideas that im ‘nice’ or ‘care for him beyond cheese’ _

 

(1:48am)

Just think about it ok Plagg

 

(1:49am)

_ Alright Tikki I miss u _

 

(1:50am)

I miss u too Plagg <3

 

(1:51am)

_ Yeah ok thats enough sentiment for the year. Im going to sleep before the daily akuma wake up call  _

 

(1:52am)

Night Plagg

* * *

 

(4:03am)

Chat theres an akuma

 

(4:04am)

_ Hello and thank you for messaging Chat line where miraculous is my gain and puns keep us sane. Chat is unable to come to the phone right now but please text one of the following according to what you desire: _

 

  * __If you are ladybug and desire a date with Chat Noir please press 1__


  * _If the reason you are texting is pun related press 2_


  * _If there is an akuma attack currently going on and I am immediately required then I apologize for being indisposed but leave the name powers and location of the akuma after pressing 3._


  * _If Paris is in some kind of other danger or if you are Ladybug in danger please press 4_


  * _If this is something to do with my terrible sleep habits then this is not Chat Noir but Jake from State farm_


  * _If you are Hawkmoth then press 5 and the police will be notified, also if you are hawkmoth this is not Chat Noir, this is your imagination and you have not texted anyone woooooooooo_


  * _If you are Tikki and wish to talk to Plagg then he says text a cheese emoji_


  * _If your message is not any of the above then press 42 and type what your message actually is._



 

_ Thank you for messaging Chat Line and I will get back to you as soon as possible _

 

(4:06am)

THIS ISN’T THE TIME

 

(4:10am)

OH FINE

 

(4:11am)

3 and 4 the akuma is at Marinette’s bakery and has food related powers. Im not really sure its just been throwing bread at me the past 5 minutes telling me to feel the pain? I think the akuma is in its hat tho

 

(4:13am)

_ The puns are strong with this one _

 

(4:14am)

R U GONNA HELP ME OR NOT

 

(4:15am)

_ If all its doing is throwing bread shouldnt u be able to handle it???? _

 

(4:17am)

CHAT FELIX NOIR GET UR BUTT DOWN HERE AND HELP ME

 

(4:19am)

_ Alright alright no need to pull the middle name card _

 

(4:20am)

_ Not that felix is even my middle name _

 

(4:23am)

_ Ok so Plagg is complaining there isnt enough cheese to transform so do u have any cheese? _

 

(4:24am)

Ask the akuma they have tons of food im sure cheese is amoungst it

 

(4:25am)

_ But that’ll disappear once u repair the damage.  _

 

(4:27am)

_ Ok so i gave plagg my emergency cheese stash do u think marinette will mind if i steal some of her family's cheese so after i detransform i can feed him? _

 

(4:30am)

I thought u said u weren’t a thief

 

(4:32am)

_ Yeah but i never said i wasn’t a cat burglar ;) _

 

(4:37am)

CHAT FELIX NOIR GET DOWN HERE SO I CAN THROW UR BUTT AT THE AKUMA FOR THAT TERRIBLE PUN

 

(4:40am)

_ U see that makes me less inclined to come down _

 

(4:42am)

JUST GET OVER HERE

 

(4:43am)

_ Alright but u know u couldve defeated the akuma in the time this convo has been _

 

(4:46am)

_ Ok where did u go? _

 

(4:48am)

Miraculous timed out I’m hiding while Tikki eats. The akuma went towards the tower

 

(4:50am)

_ Do u know what it wants? _

 

(4:53am)

Yeah i asked it and apparently he got food poisioning and wants to posion paris by making it rain food and if u get hit by it u get food posioning

 

(4:54am)

_ Did u gethit? _

 

(5:00am)

No im fine lets just stop this akuma

 

(5:02am)

_ Alright _

 

(5:03am)

_ I swear hawkmoth is running out of ideas if this is the best he can throw at us _

 

(5:04am)

_ Seriously y would he choose this person its such a useless power _

 

(5:10am)

_ Ok i take it back turns out posioned food is not so much of a useless power after all _

 

(5:11am)

How come? Also where r u u guys arent at the tower anymore?

 

(5:13am)

_ I am hiding in a random cafe  _

 

(5:13am)

_ Not that u can call it hiding the akuma knows im here after all _

 

(5:15am)

Can u be more specific than a random cafe?

 

(5:16am)

_ I DIDNT CHECK ITS NAME _

 

(5:17am)

Ok ok whats it close to

 

(5:18am)

_ Ok so we are now en route to the louvre so meet me there _

 

(5:20am)

Ok dont get hit in the meantime

 

(5:25am)

_ U know how u said not to get hit?  _

 

(5:25am)

_ I got hit _

 

(5:28am)

CHAT O'MALLEY NOIR STOP GETTING HIT BY AKUMAS 

 

(5:30am)

_ In my defense its 5am, Im tired and what was i supposed to do just let the civilian get hit? _

 

(5:32am)

_ Also since when is o’malley ur middle name for me? _

 

(5:35am)

Since u were an idiot

 

(5:35am)

Now r u actually ok? U good to fight?

 

(5:38am)

_ Oh yeah peachy _

 

(5:40am)

Knowing u that was some kind of pun lie thing. 

 

(5:42am)

_ That was a catity pun _

 

(5:43am)

???????????????

 

(6:00am)

OK CHAT Y DID U COME U WERE SICK FROM AKUMAS WEIRD POWERS

 

(6:03am)

_ I HELPED OK _

 

(6:04am)

If by helped u mean sat in the corner complaining while i fought the akuma then year u ‘helped’

 

(6:07am)

_ I dont appurrceiate the cattitude m’lady.  _

 

(6:08am)

_ Besides i didnt complain _

 

(6:09am)

If thats what u wanna tell urself kitty then sure u didn’t complain :/

 

(10:45am)

_ Did u know the kwami’s text each other over the phones?????? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to add Rena Rouge into the mix ;) so be prepared for her appearance. Ok that's all I really had to say so I hope you all enjoyed, let me know what u thought and all that jazz. Hopefully I'll CATch you next chapter ;)


	5. You can't buy landmarks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (3:24am)
> 
> U CANT JUST BUY LANDMARKS CHAT
> 
> (3:27am)
> 
> I can so!
> 
> (3:30am)
> 
> No, just no.

_ Chat Noir _

Ladybug

 

(2:43am)

_ Hypothetically what would u say if i bought the eiffel tower? _

 

(3:00am)

Am I dreaming? There’s no way u just said u were buying the Eiffel tower

 

(3:02am)

_ Ijust asked what ud think if i did _

 

(3:05am)

Id be concerned

 

(3:07am)

_ Why?  _

 

(3:10am)

Do u even understand how strange that sounds

 

(3:11am)

Y do u even want it anyway?????

 

(3:12am)

_ First, why wouldn’t I want it? _

 

(3:14am)

_ Second, so I was thinking that since we spend a lot of time there and since we are paris’ superheroes that it’d be a good idea if we had a base kinda thing so we had somewhere to plan stuff and go after patrol or akumas _

 

(3:16am)

Chat……… it’s 3am

 

(3:17am)

_ I’m aware _

 

(3:20am)

Y r u thinking about this at 3am??????

 

(3:23am)

_ Its a good idea! _

 

(3:24am)

U CANT JUST BUY LANDMARKS CHAT

 

(3:27am)

_ I can so! _

 

(3:30am)

No, just no.

 

(3:33am)

_ So I’m taking it ur against my genius plan to buy the tower _

 

(3:34am)

Thats implying it’s even a good plan at all.

 

(3:35am)

_ It totally is LB. _

 

(3:40am)

They aren’t going to sell the Eiffel tower to a teenager, superhero or not. 

 

(3:41am)

_ Thats discrimination _

 

(3:56am)

Hey Chat, Tikki here LB fell asleep. So about ur plan, I really don’t think that they would sell the Eiffel tower to anyone given it’s a major tourist attraction and likely brings in a lot of income for the city.

 

(3:59am)

_ I’d still let them use it, they can even keep the money from it _

 

(4:02am)

Its weird how keen u r to buy national landmarks

 

(4:05am)

_ Well yeah, I’d buy the louvre but they need a place for art and we are almost never there. _

 

(4:06am)

How would u even afford it????

 

(4:08am)

_ It can’t cost that much _

 

(4:11am)

Its a national landmark…… 

 

(4:15am)

_ Im gonna look into it _

 

(9:32am)

Omg my partner is an idiot

 

(9:33am)

_ Im assuming u mean a partner on a project cuz im not an idiot m’lady _

 

(9:37am)

U were actually serious about buying the tower?????

 

(9:38am)

_ Well yeah, why else would I have suggested it??? _

 

(9:40am)

I honestly just thought I’d dreamt that entire conversation…

 

(9:42am)

I cant believe ur serious

 

(9:46am)

_ Im not serious Im Chat _

 

(9:47am)

:/

 

(9:50am)

_ I’ll get back to u tonight on the status of our new office/hideout at the eiffel tower :) _

* * *

(2:34pm)

Chat, akuma.

 

(2:37pm)

_ Hello and thank you for messaging Chat line where miraculous is my gain and puns keep us sane. Chat is unable to come to the phone right now but please text one of the following according to what you desire: _

 

  * __If you are ladybug and desire a date with Chat Noir please press 1__


  * _If the reason you are texting is pun related press 2_


  * _If there is an akuma attack currently going on and I am immediately required then I apologize for being indisposed but leave the name powers and location of the akuma after pressing 3._


  * _If Paris is in some kind of other danger or if you are Ladybug in danger please press 4_


  * _If this is something to do with my terrible sleep habits then this is not Chat Noir but Jake from State farm_


  * _If you are Hawkmoth then press 5 and the police will be notified, also if you are hawkmoth this is not Chat Noir, this is your imagination and you have not texted anyone woooooooooo_


  * _If you are Tikki and wish to talk to Plagg then he says text a cheese emoji_


  * _If your message is not any of the above then press 42 and type what your message actually is._


  * _If you are the council of Paris calling about my bid to buy the tower if my previous offer was not enough please accept an addition of 65 cents to the current offer, if that is still not acceptable please press 7_



 

_ Thank you for messaging Chat Line and I will get back to you as soon as possible _

 

(2:48pm)

OMG U ACTUALLY PUT AN OFFER ON THE TOWER/????? WHY

 

(2:50pm)

Anyway the akuma is basically an evil spiderman and we are on route to the Eiffel tower ironically

 

(2:53pm)

_ Arent u more suited to fighting spiderman than me? _

 

(2:55pm)

Yes but I need ur cataclysm for my plan to work so please get over here. 

 

(2:57pm)

_ Ok Im on route and see I told u wed need the tower _

 

(2:58pm)

OMFG UR STILL ON THAT????

 

(3:00pm)

_ Dont worry Im sure my offer will be accepted _

 

(3:03pm)

Right now im not worried about that im worried about the akuma so get over here.

 

(3:06pm) 

_ Ok ok im here to fight evil spideeman  _

* * *

(3:50am)

_ So i got a reply from the council of paris and they rejected my offer even wiyh the extra 65cents _

 

(3:51am)

Shocker :/

 

(3:52am)

_ RUDE _

 

(3:54am)

It doesnt take a genius to know they wont sell u the tower

 

(3:57am)

Imagine the headlines…. Chat noir one of paris’ resident superheroes tries to buy the effiel tower

 

(3:58am)

Paris would think we were a joke

 

(3:59am)

Well more accurately they’d think ur a joke

 

(4:00am)

_ As if they dont already think that m’lady _

 

(4:04am)

They dont think ur a joke

 

(4:05am)   
_ U think im a joke pretty sure paris does as well _

 

(4:07am)

Where did u get that idea?

 

(4:08am)

I don’t think ur a joke chaton?????

 

(4:10am)

_ Most of pairs seems to think u do. U never really take me seriously _

 

(4:11am)

Thats bc ur rarely serious around me

 

(4:13am)

_ Even when i am being seirious u dismiss me and act like im joking _

 

(4:14am)

When have u ever been seruous around me?

 

(4:15am)

_ *serious _

 

(4:16am)

_ What about all those times Ive tried to profess my love for u _

 

(4:17am)

Chat… we dont really know each other that well

 

(4:18am)

_ Whenever i ask u to do something with me u never can or want to. We never get to hang out aside from patrol or fighting akumas _

 

(4:20am)

I just dont think its a good idea. What if we figure out each others identies?

 

(4:23am)

_ Ik ik its not safe and all but we;re more than capable of keeping them secret buggaboo _

 

(4:25am)

I guess we could stand to get to know each other better but dont get ur hopes up. Just bc im agrreing to hang out doesnt mean im in love with u or anything

 

(4:28am)

_ Ik u love that other guy but thanks LB u wont regret it _

 

(4:30am)

I better not :/

 

(4:32am)

_ :3 :) :D _

 

(4:33am)

Y do i already feel like im gonna regret this…...

* * *

 

(5:48pm)

_ So did u know its apparently illegal to attempt to buy the tower? _

 

(5:50pm)

_ Apparently if i call again ‘superhero or not they’ll arrest me’ like how crazy is that? _

 

(5:54pm)

About as crazy as u attempting to buy the tower in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the hiatus, i've been busy with uni and also got sick but uni is finished for the year so I will hopefully have time to write more of this weird story :) i hope you all enjoy it and I apologise for the hiatus on it. CATch you next chapter


	6. #LetChatSleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (1:43pm)  
> Does passing out in the middle of work count as sleep?
> 
> (1:44pm)  
> Im asking for a friend

_Chat Noir_

Ladybug

 

(5:33am)

_MERRY CHRISTMAS LADYBUG!!!!!!!!!!!_

 

(5:34am)

_CAN U SMELL THAT XMAS CHEER IN THE AIR?????? IT SMELLS LIKE MISTLETOE and gingerbread_

 

(5:35am)

_Speaking of gingerbread can u bring some to next patrol???? Ive been craving it since midnight and my dad wont let me buy it and u seem to always have an excess of baked goods at patrol so??????_

 

(5:36am)

_What do u think the chances are they’ll give me the Eiffel tower as a present for xmas?_

 

(5:37am)

_BUT YEAH MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!_

 

(8:34am)

Why were u wishing me a merry xmas at 5am on the 1st of december?????

 

(8:35am)

_Bc i forgot to do it at midnight_

 

(8:37am)

Also yes i can bring u gingerbread tonight on patrol

 

(8:38am)

_I knew there was a reason i loved u bugaboo_

 

(8:40am)

How many times have i told u about the bugaboo calling

 

(8:41am)

_Probably a lot but all i heard was the angelic sound of ur voice_

 

(8:45am)

Ok did u sleep last night????

 

(8:46am)

_Why? Where is this sudden change in topic coming from m’lady?_

 

(8:53am)

  1. I dont trust u to sleep urself
  2. Ur you…..
  3. U r confusing me more than normal
  4. U were wishing me merry christmas and ranting about gingerbread at 5am…..



 

(8:54am)

_All valid points but i raise u a counter point_

 

(8:59am)

Which is?

 

(9:02am)

_I’m a cat therefore dont need sleep_

 

(9:03am)

U do know cats sleep like 20 hours a day or something rediciulous…..

 

(9:04am)

_Thats why they dont sleep at night they nocturnal hunters mwahahahahah_

 

(9:06am)

Honey nooooooo

 

(9:07am)

That is not a valid argument bc as i keep telling u u arent a cat and cats do in fact sleep

 

(9:09am)

_Ok so i may not have slept but i have my reasons_

 

(9:10am)

Which are……?

 

(9:11am)

_I feel like u wont accept any of them as valid so i choose not to speak of them_

 

(9:16am)

When was the last time u slept?

 

(9:17am)

_What day is it?_

 

(9:18am)

Saturday

(9:20am)

_Wednesday?_

 

(9:21am)

U dont seem sure of that

 

(9:22am)

_I’m not, i think it was wednesday_

 

(9:30am)

I’ll make u a deal

 

(9:31am)

I’ll only give u gingerbread if u get some sleep before patrol, ur mask can only do so much to hide the bags under ur eyes

 

(9:32am)

_Thats what makeups for m’lady!_

 

(9:34am)

I dont know what to do with this information

 

(9:35am)

U wear makeup??????

 

(9:36am)

JUST GET SOME SLEEP

 

(9:37am)

_When am i supposed to do that patrol starts at 9pm tonight_

 

(9:40am)

U literally have the entire day. Its saturday its for sleeping

 

(9:42am)

_I cant i have fencing in the morning and am working this afternoon_

 

(9:43am)

U fence?????

 

(9:45am)

_How do u think I’m so good with my baton and why my weapon was a baton and not like a yoyo_

 

(9:46am)

_Also seriously a yoyo? Y is ur weapon a yoyo like i never thought a yoyo could be a deadly weapon yet somehow u make it work?_

 

(9:53am)

I asked Tikki and she said “I gave u a yoyo bc u were really confused and kinda freaking out when u first transformed so ur thoughts were all over the show like a yoyo so I just decided a yoyo would make a good weapon cuz ur thoughts work like one….”

 

(9:54am)

_Wow plagg just said that he wanted me to have something i can use that makes me look less like a magical girl……_

 

(9:55am)

I think i got the better weapon I can tie people up and fly and grab stuff, im basically spiderman.

 

(9:56am)

_I doubt spider man is as beautiful as u m’lady_

 

(10:14am)

Ok so i know i told u to sleep and u said ur fencing or something this morning but what do u mean a magical girl?????

 

(10:15am)

_So i may be a little into anime_

 

(10:17am)

U once spent an entire battle singing the theme song of yuri on ice on repeat……. And another just making bad references…..

 

(10:18am)

_I have the power of a god and anime on my side!_

 

(10:19am)

_Anyway when i first transformed I may of had an entire magical girl transformation sequence planned out and may have done it so……._

 

(10:20am)

U weren’t the least bit freaked out?

 

(10:21am)

_It was intenral and I cared more about getting freedom_

 

(10:22am)

_I’ll see u on patrol tonight LB!_

 

(10:25am)

Remember no gingerbread unless u sleep, I’ll be asking Plagg

 

(10:26am)

_Bold of u to assume plagg will be awake_

 

(10:27am)

I’ll send Tikki after him if he doesn’t make sure u sleep

 

(10:29am)

_His reaction was to grab cheese and hide in my bag so i assume thats a sign he’ll do as u ask. U gotta teach me that i cant ever get him to listen to me even if its to tell him to stop sneaking around my house cuz i dont wanna be caught be nooooo._

 

(10:30am)

Sorry, have fun at work and fencing

 

(10:31am)

_I wont but its the thought that counts_

 

(1:43pm)

_Does passing out in the middle of work count as sleep?_

 

(1:44pm)  
_Im asking for a friend_

 

(1:45pm)

WHAT THE HELL CHAT

 

(1:46pm)

_It was my friend!_

 

(1:47pm)

Sure :/

 

(1:48pm)

_It was!_

 

(1:50pm)

Yeah sure passing out at work counts as sleep

 

(1:52pm)

_Good news then I got some sleep, so gingerbread?????_

 

(1:54pm)

I knew it was u that passed out.

 

(1:55pm)

_No_

 

(1:56pm)

Chat i  literally only said yes bc i knew u would out urself theres no use denying it

 

(1:57pm)

_I just came out here to have a good time and I’m feeling so attacked right now._

 

(1:58pm)

_Alexa play despairooooooooooooooooooooo_

 

(1:59pm)

U ok there?

 

(2:03pm)

_Hey Plagg here, chat fell asleep while typing the message so thats why it had so many O’s. I’ll wake him when its time for patrol if i dont fall asleep myself._

 

(2:05pm)

Dont worry about it plagg id rather my idiot gets some sleep than eat gingerbread on a rooftop with me.

 

(2:06pm)

_Ill patrol with u if he doesnt wake up provided u bring cheese -Plagg_

 

(2:08pm)

I guess I’m bringing gingerbread and cheese then. If he comes ill send him home with the cheese for u plagg, any requests?

 

(2:09pm)

_Camembert_

 

(2:10pm)

Noted. I’ll see one of u at patrol. Make sure he gets some sleep

(2:11pm)

Bye plagg

 

(2:12pm)

_Bye Ladybug_

* * *

(8:33pm)

_I have awoken to the sounds of the christmas cheer_

 

(8:34pm)

_Well actually i woke up a while ago i just wanted it to seem like i got a reasonable amount of sleep, i think 6 hours is reasonable_

 

(8:35pm)

_Oh wait i ruined my plan_

 

(8:35pm)

_Ignore all that_

 

(8:36pm)

_I’ll start over_

 

(8:37pm)

_I totally 100% got a reasonable amount of sleep that definitely wasnt only an hour_

 

(8:38pm)

_Wait no that doesnt sound any better……_

 

(8:39pm)

_I got sleep so gingerbread?_

 

(8:40pm)

Yes chat i’ll bring u gingerbread :/

 

(8:41pm)

_I love u m’lady_

 

(8:42pm)

U only say that bc im bringing food

 

(8:43pm)

_I say it bc its true <3 _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all, I am very sleep deprived so I project it onto Adrien, also I enjoy making him say random things because I also do that. I'm the person who'll message someone something incredibly random at 2am and then realise it's 2am and feel Adrien is also that way. Anyway I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, there may be a new one within the next week or two, I have two currently being written for this story im just not sure what order I want them in as of yet.   
> I'll catch you next time :)

**Author's Note:**

> The other heroes and Hawkmoth will come into this later, as of now only Ladybug and Chat Noir have phones (well Hawkmoth might have one but he is unaware of the heroes phones so let's ignore him for now), the other's will gain phones later but as of current in the story only Ladybug and Chat Noir are fighting the akuma but the other's will join soon enough, I already have plans for Alya joining them so don't worry. I honestly only wrote this because I wanted something that would be quick for me to write and that I would enjoy writing and I miss this style after writing please check your number and try your call again, so it's good to get back into it. The title of this will probably change once I figure out a solid plot for it, so don't be surprised if that happens. I hope you all enjoy this fic! Please, kudos or leave reviews I love knowing what u all think :) Okay hopefully CATch u next time :) :) :)


End file.
